kids back then

he said, "we were just kids back then."
as a formidable reason to our lack of care
we did not acknowledge or honor anything very well back then, but it was there
for granted - it was taken from us just as easily as it was given

i stopped and thought, i took in his words, and in reflection i agreed
so i said to myself, let's just see where this leads

as though now would be different, we would communicate and be open
talk about our views, give our opinions
on matters that matter, and laugh
talk for hours

a new goal for me, i did not know how he kept me
but the conversation was ours and ours

somewhere adrift, lost in-between
drew from communication grew
further and further away
no amount of words to fill one up, only action and action failed us
accidents happen, and it happened to me
the accident happened and happened only to me
what was to follow
we tried, he tried to be a part of something he could not see, experience, feel or be 
he does not understand what happened to me
i thought he could take it in relate for he too has danced along black curtains
what was to follow
was me and only me

time moves forward
healing takes on a different pace
even though one says they are there, beat me down with words and opinions
go down, bend, wrap-around, twist all the way to the end, til it is all gone and you are new again
strength and the idea of strength share will but when something is brand new it can surly kill

- catté